Doctor, doctor,

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bridge.
What's come over you?
Well, so far a lorry, two buses and five cars.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of scissors.
Well you can just cut that out!

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a telephone.
Go home and ring me later.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch while I examine you.
I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next!

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm an apple.
Take a seat Mr Smith, I won't eat you.

Doctor, doctor, when I get my glasses will I be able to read.
Oh, of course.
Good, now I won't have to bother learning.

Doctor, doctor, a dog just bit my leg.
Did you put anything on it?
No, it seemed to like it just the way it was.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a clown.
You must be joking, Mr Smith.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a snooker ball.
You'll have to go to the end of the queue.

Will you remember me in one day's time?
Of course.
Will you remember me in a week's time?
Of course.
Will you remember me in a month's time?
Of course.
Will you remember me in a year's time?
Of course.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
See, you've forgotten me already!